The week is more than half over; we are past midweek and once we head towards the weekend it’s what most people call being “over the hump.” I have said before in my posts that many times we get past what we consider the hump or tough spots in our path then start to think it’s all downhill from there. Or, worse still, we come across a tough spot and, when we find we can’t move past it quickly, we give up.
When I started writing this course, started planning workshops, writing speeches and books, I realized that often people aren’t prepared for setbacks that are likely to arise. This is the key to all those products and services that I offer. Early in the week I stated that the biggest part of creating a new you is the journey of getting towards your dreams. This journey is the process that creates the new you. Well the key to make that growth is what you are reading today and what we will share tomorrow.
Overcoming setbacks is a major part of personal growth. You work and work towards a goal then a major setback happens that almost always brings you to the point that you get ready to trash the goals, and really wonder in your mind of those goals are right for you. This morning I was able to meet with an old friend who had a major setback in life. She was involved in a motorcycle accident a few years ago. Today she shared with me part of her journey that most of hadn’t heard. She was a nurse when she had the accident; she now has very little use of her right hand. Without the use of hands and legs she cannot perform those duties that a nurse would have to. This is a major setback.
I have shared many times in this blog how in 1992 I was given a setback that forever changed my life when I was diagnosed with a form of epilepsy. At the time I was driving 18 wheelers to make my living but I was looking at other options to work my way out of what I was doing into a new career that I felt led to do. So while this was a setback, it really was not. It just didn’t happen on my time schedule and I felt I had no control of what was happening in my life. I spent years dwelling on whether or not I should reset my goals to accomplish what I felt I should do and struggled to continue through the setback.
Currently, my own daughter is facing setbacks that she must overcome. I wish it was in my power to take them away from her. But if I did, I would be stunting her growth, keeping her from the goals that she has set. She is facing medical problems that any parent hates to see their kid go through. However if I were to take them from her and not let her go through this, those goals will never be reached. Even worse is watching my partner suffer with wanting to take my daughter’s pain away. Both of these issues burden me to watch, knowing it’s a path that she must go though.
No matter what the setback is, you must still look at it with the end goal in mind. This is not the time to throw out the goals and look for an easy path to get to comfort. I have mentioned before that taking the path of least resistance is what makes men and rivers very crooked. So to help you avoid that, here are my three things to help you take a firm, hard-nose look at how to overcome setbacks.
1. Refocus. After a setback happens it is not time to give up, not time to reset the goals. It’s time to get refocused on what your goals are. It may mean you have to extend your timeframe, or tweak what it was you were going to do. Maybe there is another version of your goal or idea that is a better fit. In life there are two ways to handle a difficulty: change the difficulty or change yourself to deal with the difficulty.
2. Build and develop your inner belief system. This is the time to build your inner belief, to keep your attitude upbeat and positive. There is nothing more wonderful to see in the coaching world than someone who makes their inner belief system stronger by learning to change their habits and their speech through positive affirmations and statements. To see a person who is just beat down by life jump up and say, “Life is a garden; dig it” is a thrill to me. The title character in the movie Joe Dirt, is an underdog facing hardships that would kill the average American today. Yet, this guy just keeps looking up towards better days.
3. Keep a good attitude and motivate yourself. You are the one who controls your attitude in life. There’s an old saying attributed to Henry Ford: “Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t, you’re probably right.” But remember, you determine your attitude. That is the one thing you can control as you change and grow in building a new you.
This is such a big and important topic that tomorrow we will dig further deeper as we talk about Attitude and Motivation. So come back and read it!
I’m Tim Gillette, the Rocker Life Coach. It’s time for you to live the life you always wanted, to love what you do and those you share life with. Let us help you become a RockStar in your world