So I want to do a week of blogs about words that really get under my skin. I have been thinking this through about how many times I hear these words when talking to people. When people use them, the words seem to be cemented into their very core, causing what will be the topic of our final post this week.
Let me start with this quote attributed to Henry Ford, “Whether you think you can or you think you can’t, you’re right.” Each of these words we’re focusing on this week is about what you believe about yourself. Now there are times in your life where one of those words will be just stopping a point that holds you back, although it’s also true, there are extreme cases where they represent a truth that cannot be altered.
Today we are going to start with the word “Can’t.” Each and every week I work to start an idea for a weekly theme; sometimes, I start with the idea that I can’t get this idea going. I just don’t have more information in me to produce. Well, if you have read any of my blogs or my books, you know I can eventually find the words I need to make it happen. We all have a part of our lives where we think “I can’t do that.”
Where did this idea start in our life that we can’t? While doing some research on what people say they can and can’t do, I found a tip left on a page that got me to thinking about this very subject. It had to do with self-belief, and how this was not a problem for us when we were born. As we grow, we learn from other people around us and from the world we live in to set limits on ourselves. I believe a lot in myself, but I still sometimes believe I have limits I fight on a daily basis.
As I was growing up I got to meet many people who were pessimistic about life. They taught me this word, “can’t.” Now I want to say there is a time that the word can’t is truly the right word to be used. Personally, I have a form of epilepsy. If I do not take my medication I have seizures that can harm me, and limit my life. The fact that I had seizures in my past means I can’t legally drive a truck or a bus for a living. I also could never fly my own plane. These are limits set on me by the laws of our land, not limits that I personally placed on myself.
So, in today’s post I want to give you a three-part test to make sure that you are using this word “can’t” in the proper way in your own life and not just as a self-imposed limit you have that is keeping you from further success in life.
1. Take a look at what your belief system is. Many people have gone through many years of things just not working out, or had one too many brick walls they ran into in this life that have torn down their belief system. And it’s not all because other people just told you over and over again that you can’t do it. Remember you have to believe what they told you in order for it not to work. So, ask yourself what parts of your belief system come from yourself and what parts come from other people.
2. Take a look at your speech patterns. If you use the words “I can’t” a lot, sooner or later you are going to believe it. I am a great follower of Che Garmin online (@AffirmYourLife). If you have not gotten the chance to follow her on Twitter or read one of her blogs, then that if the first one you should check out. She posts positive affirmations throughout the day. An affirmation is a phrase or sentence that you repeat to yourself over and over, cementing it into your mind to change your belief system. Remember, the subconscious mind cannot tell the difference between the truth and a lie; it believes what you allow it to believe. If your subconscious could tell the difference, you would not be lying to yourself in saying “I can’t do this” and your subconscious would not believe it.
3. Take steps of action to cement your positive beliefs. Above I told you how I cannot ever fly a plane due to my medical issue of having seizures. That is OK with me; I have friends who are pilots and they have taken me up in their planes. It was fun, but I’ll leave flying to them and ride my bike. I say I can’t fly a plane, but what I really mean is I can’t pilot a plane. I can take a flight to where I need to go. But better than flying, I found that I love to ride motorcycles and have worked to make riding my bike to all my business events a part of my life. Once I accepted the true fact of my health I still found a way to get around. I can still ride on someone else’s plane so all the travel I need to do is still possible.
While this post today is not to say that you can do everything you want, you can find a way do anything you want. There is a way to get done what you need to get done. Right now you need to focus on what you can do to get your purpose in life done. If you must find a team to do those things you can’t do on your own, then it can still be done; it isn’t impossible. Tomorrow we will cover the other side of this, what it really means when people say they can’t do something. Most of the time when people say they can’t do something, what they mean to say is “I won’t. But that is tomorrow.
I’m Tim Gillette, the Rocker Life Coach. It’s time for you to live the life you always wanted, to love what you do and those you share life with. Let us help you become a RockStar in your world
