Choosing the Right Mentor: Lessons from Experience
Over the past 15 years in the self-help industry, I’ve encountered a fair share of individuals who appear trustworthy but turn out to be, let’s say, wolves in sheep’s clothing. Thankfully, I’ve also had the privilege of working with a mentor who proved what real leadership looks like.
This mentor didn’t just say, “Let me help you.” He outlined actionable steps, made me accountable, and pushed me to do the work myself. Joining his elite program was a game-changer. Right from the start, he mapped out a plan for me to recoup my investment within a year—and I achieved it in just nine months.
That experience set the bar high for what mentorship, coaching, and leadership should be. And honestly, that’s how it should be. When seeking guidance, you deserve someone who can lead you effectively, with clarity and purpose.
Let me share a few stories to help you avoid common pitfalls when choosing a mentor or coach.
Choose the Right Coach Lesson 1: Find Someone Who Shares Your Values
Once, I attended an event hosted by a highly regarded industry-specific coach. While I still recommend him to others in his niche, something he said at the event really struck me. He criticized an entire industry because of a personal bad experience. What he didn’t realize was that industry was paying my bills at the time.
Ironically, when he mentioned his struggles, I offered him free advice to help fix his problem, but he refused. That moment highlighted a disconnect in our values. It’s crucial to work with mentors who understand where you’re coming from and respect your path. Otherwise, their guidance might steer you away from your goals instead of toward them.
Choose the Right Coach Lesson 2: Success First, Coaching Second
Recently, I’ve seen coaches inspired by big names like Tony Robbins or Grant Cardone who aim to replicate their success. The problem? Many haven’t built a successful business outside of their coaching practice.
Your coach’s first success shouldn’t be their coaching business. While we all learn from failure, a coach should have tangible proof they’ve turned failure into success before teaching others.
I learned this firsthand. Early in my coaching journey, I believed it was okay to start coaching without a proven track record. Then, a mentor named Larry shifted my perspective. He encouraged me to teach what I’d already succeeded in. That’s when my focus shifted to blogging, content marketing, videos, and podcasting—areas where I had real, measurable success.
The takeaway? Follow mentors who have “been there, done that, and are still doing it.”
Choose the Right Coach Lesson 3: Be Cautious with Mentorship Companies
A few years ago, I joined a mentorship program led by a well-known figure. The sales presentation was compelling, delivered by someone whose story resonated with mine. However, once I joined, I realized the reality didn’t live up to the promise.
The founder, though impressive, wasn’t involved in day-to-day mentorship. Instead, the actual mentors were hired coaches who often lacked the experience to provide meaningful guidance.
If you’re considering joining a program like this, ask yourself:
- Are the mentors truly qualified?
- What are their real-life experiences?
- Why are they working for someone else’s program instead of leading their own successful ventures?
Always vet the mentors you’ll be working with. If possible, ask for direct contact with the salesperson or founder in case you don’t receive what was promised.
Final Thoughts
Hiring a coach or mentor is a big decision, and it’s not one to take lightly. Some coaching contracts are as binding as sales agreements, leaving you stuck with payments even if the mentor isn’t a good fit.
That’s why it’s essential to do your research, ask tough questions, and ensure the person or program aligns with your goals and values.
Stay informed, not just with choosing the right coach. But in watching the Marketing Red Flags
If you found this helpful and want more practical advice, join our Weekly Marketing Tip of the Week Newsletter. It’s a free resource designed to help you grow your business with actionable tips and strategies.
Sign up today and take the first step toward building your success story.
