Getting Past the Past

It’s time to finish up the week and I want to be honest with you. My writings this week were about a fresh start but I have spent most of my week locked in my office facing another one of my depressed modes that come from time to time. Dealing with depression while writing words of encouragement is not always that easy; it means I’m writing for myself as much as for you.

I have found in life that the many struggles I have gone through and the ones I’m going through now are what give me some of the best ideas that I write and speak about. I was thinking this week of all the artists — from writers of books and blogs like me, to those who paint pictures and do other visual arts, to the musical artists who write and perform our great songs. So many of the great art works of our world came from someone who was dealing with pain and that art or music or writing is an outlet for those feelings.

When making the many fresh starts and startovers in life that I have gone through, I have faced these issues of depression as I did this week every time. If you go back in my history of writing you, will see of one of the topics I talked about was from the movie, A Beautiful Mind. It’s the idea that someone could use the mind God gave them to learn to control the emotions they are feeling and get to the results they want.

In the movie, the main character was a brilliant mathematician, a genius who suffered from a severe psychotic disorder and schizophrenia. When he took medicine to control the disorder, he found the trade-off in his life was too great so he decided he would use his mind and his will to tell himself what was real (his wife, his child and his colleagues) and what was not (his hallucinogenic “friends” who never aged and therefore could not be real).

My point is not that abandoning medicine is the right approach for everyone; my point is that we can take ownership and responsibility for much of what we are feeling and when we do that, we have the power to overcome those feelings that aren’t helping us.

We are all going to have hard times while making a fresh start. In life you would not be starting over if what you had was a success. There are some exceptions to this rule, but usually it was a feeling that made a person decide what he or she was doing was not a success.

I have several friends here in the Dallas area that walked away from some rather nice companies they have built. I have one friend who walked away from the IT field with history at many companies – not because he was not successful by most standards, but because he no longer felt his life was a success. This is one of the many stories I know. Sometimes people are just tired of what they are doing, and say, “That is enough.”

So as we finish this week out I want to leave you with one last idea. It’s your life. If you have chosen to make a fresh start at something in your life; if you have decided you no longer want to do something; if you feel you’re a failure because your last venture did not pay for the life style you wanted and decided to start over; if, maybe, just last year you were not able to achieve the success you wanted to; here are my great words for you: It’s OK. You are still alive so make the fresh start.

This time, consider the entire picture of what you want. Don’t let your feelings tell you that you are a failure; instead, work to control them so that they also encourage you toward your goals. Build your support system. Make a motivational playlist. Find a friend you can talk to about trials to get encouragement. Have an affirmation list to get you past the things that hold you back.

2012 is your year to live your dream, to love what you do and those you share life with. Learn to get past the hard feelings and become the RockStar in your world.

The Choices You Make

Good Tuesday morning to you. I am sure we are still working full speed ahead with our goals and plans for the year. After all we are only two business days in, three days in total. So many of us, when making a fresh start, find these are the easy days. Sometimes I get asked, “What do we need help for at this point in the game?”

When we make changes in our lives, we are all excited about it while things are going good. We see nothing bad when we are on top of a mountain. In life, as long as things are going good we feel we do not need any more changes. The problem with every fresh start, though, is sooner or later you will hit the wall in that change and things will no longer be easy.

We do not live in a perfect world. I could talk to you about how life has ups and downs and you must prepare, work hard on both the ups and struggles in life. Prepare now for the downs. And, in life they are going to keep coming.

Today I wanted to cover the fact that while making the fresh start in whatever part of life you choose to start over this year, the struggle is coming. There is no exercise to keep it from happening and there is no way to avoid it. We must accept the fact we will have struggles ahead and be prepared to make the decisions to get through.

Yesterday I wrote about how many people say this year is going to be better. Well it can be; that is up to you. I told the story last year about my dad who, less than one year before his death, had made the comment that in his life he only had two bad days. In 70 years I know of some tough times he went through and I found out about others that happened before I came along.

So look back at the last time you started something new. A fresh start was good, but were you prepared for those hard times that brought an end to that road in your life? Many people would not be at a start over point, of having to make a fresh start and giving up on things if they had only learned to deal with those walls when they hit them. But many people instead quit, stop the work they’re doing, and never see the changes they want in their lives because they gave up.

I was thinking today of how often people hit a struggle, they make one wrong choice and then give up. In whatever process you are starting over with this year get back up after you fall and forgive yourself. And stay set on your process so you can succeed.

I’m Tim Gillette, the Rocker Life Coach. It’s time to love your dream, to love what you do, and those you share life with. Don’t let the little falls keep you from being the RockStar in your world.

Start a New Routine

As we come to the middle part of our week on what to do after vacation, today we are going to tackle the subject of how to build a routine that works. We started our week with clearing our heads and finding that place for meditation and spending time each day to get ourselves focused. Then yesterday we got out our cleaning supplies and took a look at those things that need to be taken out of our lives that are holding us back. Once you have the two of these done, you now see yourself thinking of new ways to get your projects done, and you have space to do them now that some weights have been lifted.

What we need to do next is build a routine with all that extra space that gets us working more efficiently. If you are a creative person like me you love to have the freedom to express your artistic side. I do that each day in this blog and other things I’m writing. Many people I talk to want to know how I get the inspiration to write like this. They want to know what they need to do to get this much written.

Well even with my free spirit / inspirational / be creative personality, I have to set up a routine that gets me working on these things on a regular basis. I have a routine that gets me in front of this computer to write. No matter what I have going on, I treat this like it’s a job. For a long time I tried just getting to it when I felt like it. This left me so many times up late at night working to get something written. Working only when you feel like it will never bring you success.

So if you learn to build a routine for what you need to get done it will take the stress out of your day. When you are starting over, you may be at the place in life I was a few years ago when I had to spend so many hours of each day at a job working. That was part of my routine. To make this business a success I had to build a routine outside of my work to get things done. Many who are reading this are always looking for ways to get from that routine they call a job to a new dream. Well, yes, you may have to work at a job that is its own routine, but the routine you set with your spare time is what will bring you success at your side venture.

Since we came back from vacation, this week it’s like we are starting over. So how do you build your routine that makes you successful? This entire idea is built around management of your time. I have found several time management programs out there that give you ways to take the steps you need to get your time back to being yours. Here are a few suggested programs to help you find a new time management system for you that are low cost.

 501 tips and ideas for finding more time.

 

These are good self-help programs that can help you reach your goals, help you get your time working for you, or just get yourself back on track after a great vacation. Of course I also have a few tips to get you going if you want to try on your own.

1.  Define your objective. Like I said above, maybe you are working a job right now to bring in the money you need until you are able to set out on your own with the business or venture that you dreamed of doing. Maybe it’s to launch a non-profit  to help people, like my friends did at Races4change.org.  Whatever it is you need to define that to start with.

2.  Do some research. The greatest research tool is Google. Find five other people who are doing what you are doing. Learn how they got there, what challenges they went through to get there.

3.  Take action with what you’ve got. Yes, I write almost 2000 words a day – about 1000 for this blog and 1000 on books and programs I am working on. But I started out doing less. If you only have an hour each day to do this then take that one hour and use it. Even the small actions and small amounts of time add up over time. The point is when taking action, make it work towards your goal. Find ways to make this a routine that changes your world.

4.  Keep a record of your progress. Last night I was hanging out with some of my closest friends in business and we talked about an old friend of theirs, who I never met. He faced challenges that came into his life one at a time, at a very rapid pace. The one thing that everyone asked him to do was to keep a journal or record of his story to help others. If you don’t like to write, find another way to keep notes. Call me and I will help you set up a way to record your story and get you to the people who are writers and looking to help you tell your story.

5.  No matter what happens, press on. Last week we lost Steve Jobs to a form of cancer. Many on this earth will suffer in pain and you will never know it. Steve Jobs dealt with this sickness for years, yet in those years he introduced three modern technology devices. Think about when he learned of his illness; it was after his diagnosis that he introduced the iPhone, MacBook Air, and the iPad. Imagine if he had awakened each day and said, “I don’t feel like working today; I hurt.” Many of you would not be reading this on your iPad today. Yes I have done the tasks that are part of my dream even on the days that I could not get out of bed. Don’t let a little sickness or uncomfortable feeling keep you from your dream.

So what is your dream and what routine are you going to assign yourself to make that dream come true? Are you willing to work on those days that you do not feel well? We don’t know that days we have on this earth, but I do know this: if you are still alive you have not fulfilled your purpose yet. Take each day you have and work toward it because if you are not living your purpose or chasing your dream you are not living.

I’m Tim Gillette, the Rocker Life Coach. It’s time to live the life you always dreamed of, to love what you do and those you share this life with, and get a routine that makes you the RockStar in your world today.

Vacation is over Get Focused

So you are back from vacation. Now what? Last week I took a week out of the office, away from the daily tasks that keep my business running. The fun part about my week was I was riding the motorcycle. After all the riding – and most of them were long days – I came home tired. So I was glad that I was able to have my weekend to relax before getting back to work today.

While working on writing this, even I was having a hard time getting focused on my week and all I have to get done. I was glad that I had some things already set up, but still how do you get yourself going again? I asked Gwynne what she is going to do with her day. She said she is going to start by going through all her email and regular mail when she gets to her office.

I thought of how I usually tell people to set life back up after they have to start over. I usually tell them to get a place they can go and focus. Use that place as your meditation place. Well this should be the first thing you need to do when starting over, even when you start over after a great week of vacation. After all we need to be really focused when we get back from a vacation. When you get back, whether you have a place you are going back to work at, or you have a business to run in your own place, find a space for quiet reflection before you start.

When coaching people to start over, if they are starting after a loss, they often feel they have no place to go. Well, here at your workplace, you have a place to go, and usually you have a larger work load because you were gone for a few days.

So when coming back you should have a few things set up to get you going. Have yourself scheduled to be somewhere and tasks set to do when you get back. As Gwynne said to me when you start on those things that you need to get done it opens up to other things.

Years ago when I ran other companies I would have things like this set up to do for me. Because of the nature of the business, there were tasks that I had to do, assigned by someone else. Now I have my own companies and I have to keep it moving forward. So I must assign myself tasks to keep it moving forward.

If you are a creative person who is trying to expand a business idea, or a dream that you want to launch then you must have the things set up for yourself to get the ball rolling again. After all if your dream is not moving on its own yet you may have to start things rolling from a stop again.

So take your Sunday night, maybe do this every Sunday night, and plan out your week, what you’re going to do, take the time to get away for the 10,20, or 30 minutes and meditate, think it through. Get your focus back to make your dream come true. I hope you keep yourself focused, and build your dream to where it runs all by itself.

I’m Tim Gillette, the Rocker Life Coach. It’s time for you to live the life you always dreamed of, to love what you do and those you share life with. Keep yourself focused and become the RockStar in your world.

What’s The Problem?

Many who hear the names Life Coach, Business Coach, Job Coach, all have the same questions: What is a coach? Why should I hire a coach? Are you like that football coach that I had as a kid? We all have questions when we hear what someone does for a living. When I was a kid, the only thing I learned about to do in our part of the world when I grew up was to become a farmer, a mechanic, a carpenter, a fireman, policemen, teacher, or pastor. There were some other ones, but as a kid, the only thing I knew about most office positions was the business men and women wore suits to work.

This past weekend I turned 45. I have been working full time since age 18.That is 27 years if you want to check my math. I never did anything with a purpose or direction until I reached my late 30s. It was at that point that I started to look back over my past and see what it was that I had really been pursuing. I have to say until then, it was money that I pursued – the money I needed to eat or pay whatever bills I had. I was not happy chasing money or the idea I would have no more debt. So when I was first told I would be good at this thing called life Coaching, I had never heard of it either.

I’m going to answer the questions above about what a Life Coach is but, when most people ask me a question, they want an answer in a matter of one minute and thirty-one seconds; after that the mind shuts off to my explanation.

So this week I want to have a theme of explaining, one post at a time, how a coach like me helps people. It’s not by standing on the sidelines and telling you what plays to make as you would see a sports coach do. As a life coach, I help people solve problems in life. Looking at you life, I’m able to see the problem, how it affects you and what the real solution is. I then help guide you through the problem you need solved. To do this, I’m in a way on the sideline of your life, asking you the questions, planting the ideas in your mind how to solve these problems. The victory is when you solve the problem, you now understand what you went though, and know how to face this similar problem as you move forward in life.

So what problems do coaches work with? Each coach, or type of coach, works with what we call a niche. They have things they specialize in. Some coach with dating, others may coach with divorcing. I know real estate coaches, and executive coaches, business coaches, and many more. I personally work with people facing major changes. We look back this past weekend at how 9/11/01 changed our world; it changed the world on a national and global scale in the past 10 years. Well, I work with people who are starting over, from losing a business to losing a mate from divorce or breakup. They all have a major life changing loss, Once they have gotten to the place of rebuilding, it’s about putting a game plan together and making something of your life from there.

As a coach I’ll bet all your friends and families have their life together, right? Of course they don’t; we all face tough times in life. As a coach, it is very hard to work with your own family. You have too much emotion involved with them and have a tough time seeing them through making the right choices. This is also true in my own life. Yes, I have hard times seeing myself past the choices I must make to improve myself. I have coaches to help me move and grow in certain areas. When I am working to improve or develop a new skill, I hire a coach or take coaching programs offered by the coaches who get me past the area of learning I need in areas where they are the experts.

As we move through this week, I will show you some of the areas where I help people. I’ll show you how you may be able to see where coaching could work for your life to solve a problem you are facing. If you see that you have been beating your head against a wall trying to find a solution to a long term problem, then write me and we will get you in touch with a coach the helps people with your problem. After all we are the problem solvers; think of that next time you hear the words “life coach”. That guy helps people solve problems in life.

I’m Tim Gillette, the Rocker Life Coach, helping you live a life you only dreamed of, teaching you to love what you do and those you share life with. And most importantly, laying the ground work to make you the RockStar in your world. Contact me to get started today.

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