No Problem Dude

We all have those things in life that we worry about. Yes even I do. Over the years I know the things that have held me back from reaching my goals, the areas where I was not willing to do just a little more to make something work. And those areas that just would not work, no matter how much I wanted them to.

Last year I was shown a great example of the reality of what happens when you set goals. The example was used of a man talking about how, when we set big goals in our lives, the first thing we seem to get is a big obstacle. The bigger the goal, the bigger the obstacle that shows up in our path.

To illustrate his point, he held up a chair and put it in front of his line of sight, then he demonstrated how most of us now become focused on the obstacle once it is placed in front of us and let it take up our thoughts keeping us from our goal.

Over the years I have done this to myself so many times. It is when we understand that this obstacle is coming that we can now learn how to prepare and deal with it and move beyond it to reach our goals.

When I learned that this was what was going to happen – that an obstacle would present itself as soon as I set a big goal for myself – then I learned to make plans so I could keep the focus on my goal and deal with the obstacle as it appeared. Doing that helped make those goals happen. I now have learned to become more focused on what I want to happen, and quickly make decisions that help me deal with obstacles so I can get back work to reach my goals.

This does not mean that it always feels like fun reaching goals; no, they still require work. Again, you must make a choice to enjoy the journey past the obstacles. Working with clients who need to get that part down is easy for me, but tough for them. It’s another mindset of learning what is going to happen and dealing with it.

So today to help you enjoy and love your life, to make it a choice to love life, and not make it just a feeling, first understand obstacles are coming. They are there to deal with; don’t let them take your focus off the goal. Don’t focus on the obstacle. The more you learn to handle these obstacles the faster you will become at reaching your goals.

I’m Tim Gillette, the Rocker Life Coach. It’s time to live your dream, to love what you do and those you share life with. Don’t let obstacles keep you from being the RockStar in your world.

Only You Can Make It

If you are old enough, you remember the old Smokey the Bear commercials on TV. “Only you can prevent forest fires.” The idea was to get people to take responsibility when they were out enjoying the great parts of nature.

Well, this week in our theme about planning, I want to put that same idea in your mind. I can help all kinds of people make plans to get them to where they want to go in life, but the plans that will work best are those that are your own.

I remember back to my first multi-level marketing business. I had an upline who would always break down ideas for me to get my numbers up. He would say, “You just need to meet two new people each day.” Then it was, “Just make five phone calls a day.” He put plan after plan in front of us on how we could get from the place we were to achieving the level the upline was at in the business.

Well, I was thinking about the way everyone writes plans to move life and business. If you read this blog and many others, you will see they lay out ideas and so many people run out to try and make work for themselves. Before you set out to make all those changes, let me share this idea with you.

If you wanted to run a marathon, would you start your training by running three or four miles a day? If you already have a running routine or habit, then maybe you would. But if you never run or even walk on a regular basis, you have to start off with walking the first few days at least, then you work your way up to running. Then you run more and over a few months or a year you can build up your training to run the marathon you want to.

So in life you have to actually know where you are to make the plan to get where you want to go. You take steps that will get you towards the goal at the pace that works for you. So if you are running from one person to another getting their plan to reach your goals and dreams, you need to change. It’s time to make a plan that is your plan.

This week I want you to write down your goal, then think and write the plan for getting to that goal. Break it into smaller steps and take those smaller steps at first; little by little you need to take the steps to make the large leap to reaching a bigger goal.

In my younger years I was a slow starter. I had to work my way up to have courage; then it was working to reach small goals outside my daily routine. Now I am making larger steps that will change the course of my business and the direction of the clients I work with. As I improve myself now and take larger steps, I get to pass on the knowledge to those I help about how to take what steps at what time.

So what are you going to do that will change your plan to make it work for you? What are the small steps you need to do like the marathoner we talked about? What will be the steps once you get into a routine to making your goals and dreams come true?

I’m Tim Gillette, the Rocker Life Coach. It’s time to live your dream, to love what you do and those you share life with. Making a plan that works for you will take you to being the RockStar in your world.

Failure to Plan: Everybody does it Do you?

I wanted to do a weekly theme of planning. It’s one of the steps in my guided program. We talk so many times in life and in many different areas, about planning. There are hundreds of professional planners out there from wedding planners, to event planners, to business consultants who help you plan out your business.

Well more people than you would think come to me all the time without a plan and want to be successful at life. We all want to be successful, but so many want it without making a plan to get there. The idea that we can make it happen without planning some steps along the way is the worst plan you can make.

Some of us think we can just get out and start working and expect a plan to come together for us. Trust me on this: it is one way to keep yourself running in circles with no hope of hitting the target you want. I have tried to run my life and business this way; it just frustrates me.

I want to think of a plan like you would think of a bullet being shot at a target. As I grew up, my father taught us to target-shoot. I remember the first time I went skeet-shooting with my dad.  When you are shooting skeet you use a shot gun; it shoots small pellets which scatter the farther they get from the gun. By contrast, when shooting target with a solid bullet, you can shoot to hit the target at a farther distance.

Imagine your plan is to hit the bull’s eye of a target, and you are using the shot gun which will not go as far. Too many people in life are shooting at the target they want to hit with a shot gun and hoping that it will make it as far at the bullet of, say, a .45 caliber.

It is most common to have people tell me of having no plan and great goals, or a great dream. They have no idea how they are going to reach such a goal. When I was putting together this program for our workshops, it focused on the idea of finding the passion, defining the dream. Then you need to plan out how you are going to get there.

Well this week we are going to have five things about planning to reach that goal or dream. Today we need to understand that if you have no plan, you will not reach any goal in a matter of two months – a short amount of time. It takes time; first you must make the goal, and then write a plan to reach it.

Next week we will talk about the ideas of change. As I looked back over my life in the past 20 years, I was looking at how far I have made it. The times it would just “come out better” on its own, those times I was just shooting in the dark at an idea of a plan, there were so many things I really fell short on.

So this week let’s focus on getting a plan to get your life to where you want to go. We all know where we are, we know where we want to go. It’s this stuff called life we are living in right now where we need something to guide us towards that goal.

So how is your plan to reach the goals you have set for 2012? Are you one who has no plan in place to make that happen yet?  Take a piece of note paper and write down a short outline of how you will reach your goals this year. This is your beginning plan.

I’m Tim Gillette, the Rocker Life Coach; it’s time to live your dream, to love what you do and those you share life with. Get a plan to become the RockStar in your world.

Guest Post: Creating a Healthy Environment

I’m thrilled that Tim has asked me to contribute a posting to his week on creating an environment that will help you succeed. I’m especially happy because he’s asked me to talk about something I’m very passionate about: being healthy. Now, I don’t claim to be the healthiest person out there and I’m not what you’d call a health nut. I’m not hyper-vigilant about additives in my food; I don’t take any supplements, I’m not a picky eater at all and I drink water out of  the tap.

I want share my thoughts on living a healthier life. Because I do have a passion for helping people do just that. A little about me: When I was a young child, I was overweight. As a teenager, I joined a swim team and lost a lot of weight, becoming really thin. Then I quit swimming, gained weight. I had children and gained some more weight. I got divorced and then lost a lot of weight. Then I gained it back and finally found myself facing middle age almost 100 pounds overweight with no one to blame it on but myself.

At that point, I joined Weight Watchers and lost almost 100 pounds. I have kept that weight off for more than 10 years and now work for them. But this isn’t a blog about Weight Watchers. It’s a blog about making a commitment to be healthier.

Weight loss, like any other undertaking, requires a long-term commitment and a willingness to stay the course, even when you aren’t getting the results you want. I firmly believe that we have set ourselves up with expectations of achievement without paying our dues, so to speak. Let me give you an example. It took me 15 months of making modest food and exercises changes to lose 90 pounds. But if I were to turn on the TV on a given night and watch a show like Biggest Loser, I would see people losing weight a lot more quickly – much more quickly than the average person should aspire to lose without constant medical supervision.

We all know someone who has taken a drastic measure to loose weight (lap band, gastric bypass, etc.). And the pounds seem to just fall off them. In fact, these surgical interventions are as close as we’ve come so far to a “magic pill” for weight loss. Believe it or not, though, I know many people who have lost hundreds of pounds this way but have gained it back – just like anyone else. There is no magic pill.

I’m not here to come down hard on people who choose those routes, but I do believe that the one thing we are becoming is a society that is unwilling to commit a time investment to what we want. “I want it all and I want it now.” That’s our American mantra. But when it comes to most things, “now” isn’t going to happen. We’ve got to be ready to invest time.

Why is this so important? You know the phrase “When the going gets tough, the tough get going.” Well, I think we’re unwilling to work through tough times. We tend to give up as soon as we have a set back. When it comes to committing to a healthier lifestyle, you must be prepared for there to be days when you don’t want to exercise, even though you know it’s good for you. If you are working to lose weight and have committed to eating less and making healthier choices there are going to be days when you eat more than you planned or made choices you later regret. If you have the  mindset that one day of falling off your plan means you’ve failed, you have a lot of heartache ahead of you!

I have a member, Judy, who is in her 60s. When she joined my meeting, she was 200 pounds overweight. Over the course of two years, she has lost more than 150 pounds and will achieve her weight goal this year. During those two years, she had a period of almost six months where she only lost a total of four pounds! That could be very demoralizing to someone who, while she had lost a lot of weight, still had a considerable amount to lose. But she knew that what she was doing would pay off in the long run, even if it didn’t seem to be working at the moment. At the time, she had actually started an exercise routine (something she hadn’t done in 40 years), had hired a personal trainer, and made huge strides there. Now she’s back to a regular pattern of losing weight as well – thanks to her persistence and her faith that even very small steps get you closer to your goal.

I believe that a healthy lifestyle is one of moderation, managed enjoyment things, and long-term commitment to our goals of making healthy choices. If you are starting, as I did, very overweight with a closetful of bad habits to change, you must be prepared to devote time – a lot of time – to making changes. You must be ready to see the scale go up sometimes. If you have made a commitment to true and lasting change, you aren’t focused on the events of one day in which you might have made regrettable choices; you are focused on how tomorrow – in fact, how your next meal – is an opportunity to get back on track.

Tim talks a lot about starting over with nothing. One great thing about leading a healthier lifestyle is that you can’t undo all your hard work in one day. If I set my mind to it, I could spend all our money in less than an hour. I cannot possibly gain back the weight I’ve lost in a single day (no matter what I eat).

I’ve begun a training program because I hope to run a half marathon later in the spring. Wednesday I simply couldn’t get a run in because of circumstances completely outside my control. One missed workout doesn’t undo all the other workouts that have preceded it – unless I give up.

That’s the best news about focusing on healthier choices: if you have a bad day, you can fix it immediately. What’s the payoff? Not only will you feel better, but I believe you will learn disciplines that you can apply to any area of your life, whether it’s delaying a major purchase until you can pay cash for it, working an extra job for a period to pay off debt you’ve built up, or making sacrifices to start your own business. All the skills are the same: you build strength through persistence and determination.

Today’s Guest post is from my Partner in life, and later this year she will be my new wife. She also has a blog about being a lady biker. You can read more of her material at ladybikertravel.com.

 

 

 

I’m Tim Gillette the Rocker Life Coach. It’s time to live your dream, to love what you do and those you share life with. Live a healthy life long enough to become the RockStar in your world.

Habits and the Mind

Good Thursday morning. How are your habits going so far? In this week’s theme of habits, one of the key things is use of our minds to change our habits. I have told my story many times about how I decided to change my mind. I wanted to get past something so I used the power of the mind to change myself. Many times I have talked about the beautiful mind, how I use my mind to control things instead of taking a medication.

So how do we use our minds to change our habits? Well before we can use the mind, first we must remove all the temptations. Once you have the temptations to go back on the new habit removed, you get your mind ready to handle the tough stuff.

There are two ideas we use to get the mind ready and they both are needed to get your mind to establish your new habits.

1.  Meditation. You have to use the mind to focus on what it is you are going to change. If you are trying to remove a bad habit, picture yourself in your mind about to partake in the bad habit, then in your mind stop yourself; tell yourself you are not going to do that. For example, if you’re trying to quit smoking, close your eyes and see yourself about to light the cigarette. Picture yourself stopping and telling yourself that you don’t smoke.  If you are trying form a good habit then you must close your eyes and picture yourself doing that very habit. Let’s say you want to start getting up 45 minutes earlier each morning so you can read the newspaper before heading to the office. Then each night before your go to bed close your eyes and picture yourself waking up with the alarm. Then see yourself being tempted to stay in bed but getting up anyway. This is the way to visualize what you want and picturing the outcome you want.

2.  Affirmations. This is the other side of the coin. Now you have to focus on your positive changes. Affirmations are phrases that you use to give your mind a positive direction. Imagine if you were to take the exercise above, trying to form a habit of waking up earlier each day. You would picture it as mentioned above, but along with dealing with the temptation to snuggle back under the covers instead of waking with the alarm, you also include a saying like “I always wake up at 7 am to greet my day. I never need an alarm clock since I love mornings so much. I’m looking forward to what I will do with my extra time.” Habits are the things that change us, but you must condition your mind to get you into the habits that will bring you the success that you want in your life.

Take these ideas and take control of your mind. When people ask me how I do what I do, one of the key things I tell them is I take control of my mind. If I can tell my mind to do something, the rest is a downhill venture.  I hope this week not only helps you to get rid of those bad habits but take control of your mind and create some good habits that bring you success in 2012.

I’m Tim Gillette, the Rocker Life Coach. Start living your dream, love what you do and those you share life with. Create habits that will make you the RockStar in your world.

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