Environment Week: Your World

Good Monday morning to you. We are starting the last full week of January. Next week our first month of 2012 will be over. I have taken the subjects little by little in our themes this year to help keep regular readers on track with making this year the best one yet.

After a week of habits and a week about going the extra mile, I wanted to have a theme about building the environment that brings you success and keeps you working towards your goals. It’s like setting life up to be in forward movement towards your goals and dreams. To keep you focused on building your dream and living an ideal life

I feel that my life is ideal and I live the way I want to live. This does not mean that I do not work. As a matter of fact, right now I put in more hours doing what I do now than I did at my prior jobs but now I love everything about my life. When I have to work at those projects that I do really like to do, it no longer brings me down, as I know exactly what I’m working towards when I’m doing them.

Last week I wrote one day about needing a massage and, thanks to a referral from a friend, I found a new massage therapist. I was very inspired about her story of how she is working towards her future. She immigrated to the US as a young adult and worked a food service job, saving her money to go through massage school. She now works massaging clients while she is little by little saving to get through law school and paying cash for it. There are three important things I learned when talking to her and hearing her story.

1.  Set your world up for success. Know that life is going to have a few challenges. You are going to have to work; if you are starting over with nothing, you are probably going to have to work at some places you don’t like. While you are doing that, plan the next move and start saving towards it. This lady set herself up so she now only works about three hours a day on average to bring an income that is four times what others make working a good job. She set herself up to work fewer hours with maximum pay so she could fit in schooling. She also did not take on a large amount of debt to buy toys that were not needed. She does not live in luxury while I know others who make the same amount of money and have a new car, bigger TVs, a high mortgage and fancy furniture. But she is looking at the long-term goals.

2.  Learn those things that will trip you up. In life we have things that could tempt us to not keep towards the goals. If you know that you will have the problem of spending money on the big TV, learn ways to delay the gratification towards those real goals you want. For us it was holding off things for our Harleys because we want to save small amounts so we can take a week-long honeymoon riding trip and really enjoy ourselves.  If our money is not right we will camp instead of staying in hotels. The point is we keep our life focused on long term goals and we know the temptation that our bikes can be. So we set ourselves up to not buy those things that aren’t needed and put money aside for the things we will need, like tires, brakes, oil changes.

3.  Bounce back from failure. We are going to fail at some things in our lives. I had to learn how to use my failures to work for me and stop letting them end the process I was seeking. So the third thing was learning to come back from failure. Let’s think of it as coming back from a tough time. If you do not have the income you want, then you must be willing to go the extra mile to get the success. If you want to succeed, be willing to maybe work that extra job to keep the money coming in while you build your dream.

So this week is going to focus on a few areas where we set ourselves up for success, building a complete environment that keeps us in a successful mind frame. When you build each one of these areas, you will find that you will be building a success environment to keep you walking in success.

I’m Tim Gillette, the Rocker Life Coach; it’s time to live your dream, to love what you do and those you share life with. Build an environment of success and become the RockStar in your world.

Habits and the Mind

Good Thursday morning. How are your habits going so far? In this week’s theme of habits, one of the key things is use of our minds to change our habits. I have told my story many times about how I decided to change my mind. I wanted to get past something so I used the power of the mind to change myself. Many times I have talked about the beautiful mind, how I use my mind to control things instead of taking a medication.

So how do we use our minds to change our habits? Well before we can use the mind, first we must remove all the temptations. Once you have the temptations to go back on the new habit removed, you get your mind ready to handle the tough stuff.

There are two ideas we use to get the mind ready and they both are needed to get your mind to establish your new habits.

1.  Meditation. You have to use the mind to focus on what it is you are going to change. If you are trying to remove a bad habit, picture yourself in your mind about to partake in the bad habit, then in your mind stop yourself; tell yourself you are not going to do that. For example, if you’re trying to quit smoking, close your eyes and see yourself about to light the cigarette. Picture yourself stopping and telling yourself that you don’t smoke.  If you are trying form a good habit then you must close your eyes and picture yourself doing that very habit. Let’s say you want to start getting up 45 minutes earlier each morning so you can read the newspaper before heading to the office. Then each night before your go to bed close your eyes and picture yourself waking up with the alarm. Then see yourself being tempted to stay in bed but getting up anyway. This is the way to visualize what you want and picturing the outcome you want.

2.  Affirmations. This is the other side of the coin. Now you have to focus on your positive changes. Affirmations are phrases that you use to give your mind a positive direction. Imagine if you were to take the exercise above, trying to form a habit of waking up earlier each day. You would picture it as mentioned above, but along with dealing with the temptation to snuggle back under the covers instead of waking with the alarm, you also include a saying like “I always wake up at 7 am to greet my day. I never need an alarm clock since I love mornings so much. I’m looking forward to what I will do with my extra time.” Habits are the things that change us, but you must condition your mind to get you into the habits that will bring you the success that you want in your life.

Take these ideas and take control of your mind. When people ask me how I do what I do, one of the key things I tell them is I take control of my mind. If I can tell my mind to do something, the rest is a downhill venture.  I hope this week not only helps you to get rid of those bad habits but take control of your mind and create some good habits that bring you success in 2012.

I’m Tim Gillette, the Rocker Life Coach. Start living your dream, love what you do and those you share life with. Create habits that will make you the RockStar in your world.

Not Offensive

Did you ever make a compliment to someone and they gave you that strange look? You ask yourself why, and then find out later that they were offended. How were you supposed to know? Over the past 10 years I have noticed more and more that people get offended at the smallest things. In our world where we have more people, with so many living close to each other, we are going to push buttons of those that we get close to.
A few years ago I was living alone and was not able to travel each year at the holidays. I would take the Christmas day shifts at Starbucks since I didn’t have much else to do. After finishing my shift I spent the afternoon with an older Jewish woman who did not celebrate Christmas. She gave me a great idea of how she handled it when people said “Merry Christmas” to her. She would kindly say, “Thank you, and Happy Hanukkah to you.” She wasn’t trying to be smart about it; she was trying to politely tell others that their greeting was offensive, but she understood they didn’t know. A way to go the extra mile in life is in trying not to offend others but also in trying to politely say “I was offended” if something happens.
I have gotten to the place that I try to let nothing offend me. This is a tough way to go the extra mile, but like my friend above I have learned that many people are not going to fit into my world and I’ll not fit in theirs either. This is a tough place to get at; not everyone can get this way as easily as I did. Going the extra mile means not letting the small things get to you, and then remembering that it’s all small stuff.
Did you ever notice that when you meet someone who has a past addiction problem with alcohol or drugs, we put a mental flag up in our mind to refrain from talking about that part of our lives in front of them. For example, I make a point of not talking about going out to have drinks with friends I know do not drink. This is a form of going the extra mile to help them not fall back into something that has done harm in their lives. We go out of our way to help, making different choices in front of them.
In life we have many personal choices we have to make. Going out of your way to make these small choices is a form of going the extra mile in life to make another’s life better. So if you don’t want to be offended in life, you can try to get to the point that nothing offends you like I have; or you could go the extra mile to not offend other people. Remember the karma of life: you get what you give. Be a giving person and go the extra miles trying not to offend.
This is one area in life most would never think of as going the extra mile. But it’s the one area that most of us actually can immediately put to practice the idea of going the extra mile. So where in your life have you made changes going the extra mile to make someone else’s life better?
I’m Tim Gillette, the Rocker Life Coach. It’s time to live your dream, to love what you do and those you share life with. Go the extra mile and you will become the RockStar in your world.

On the Road Again

Last night my daughter and I were driving the car to an event and we were talking about the worries in life, how she could get past those things that seem to hold onto her from the past, how to deal with anxiety about the future. So we looked at the very road we were on and decided to use that as the metaphor for life and what she was dealing with.

Did you ever notice that when we get to thinking about the future we can become so worried about what is coming ahead that we forget the very gift we have right in front of us? The Present. Here in Dallas, many of the highways have six lanes of traffic, three in each direction. Then we have a feeder or access road that runs along side of it, usually another four to six lanes – two to four in each direction. We discussed how if you have three lanes headed in the same direction you usually have three different types of people that are riding. In the right lane there are people who are slower, for whatever reason, maybe just going from one short exit to another. The middle lane has people who are just cruising along about average speed. Then you have the far left lane of people who are more in a hurry and seem to be passing everyone.

In life, we can relate to our success the same way traffic is moving. If you are headed towards a goal or destination in life you can choose the speed you can travel. You can choose if you want to take the fast lane or the slow lane. You determine if you are headed towards the goal, if you are on the highway in the right direction towards success. You determine what the keys are for the road to success.

While we were traveling last night, we talked about the signs telling us what roads or exits were coming up and how, if you looked up to read a sign, the further away it is the harder to see, you find that when you take your eyes off the road and try to focus on the sign you may lose focus on your driving and not see a car you’re coming up on or other obstacle.

If you keep turning around to see what signs or roads you miss, you are not focused on the direction you are headed. If you are looking around, enjoying the ride (as we were in the middle lane) with space between you and the car in front of you, then you can be more relaxed as you drive. If you take the fast lane and just race to get where you are going you may miss your exit, or miss something important in life.

If you take the slow lane when you prefer driving faster, you could end up becoming frustrated if someone slows your progress (after all, we all want to control our own progress). If you took the feeder road to get there you would have to deal with a few stoplights, some slower traffic, maybe even a back up or two at a busy intersection. But if your goal was to enjoy the journey, as Gwynne and I do on our bike trips (every now and then she sees something interesting and wants to stop and check it out) on the feeder road you can do that.

In our case I knew what exit I had to get off at; I knew how far ahead it was, and could enjoy the drive. If we plan things out, get to know what the area is on our journey to success, then we will be able to go at what pace we want, and enjoy the here and now. Last night was the biggest “ah ha” moment on the trip. I don’t have to be anxious about the road ahead; I know where I’m going and if I didn’t know for certain, they usually give you signs two miles before your exit, giving you time to get yourself in position, or in the right lane to exit in time.

How does this story apply to tools of success? You cannot control the past because it is behind you. In your life if you are still focused on the road you already traveled you are wasting a great gift of the present. In life you can get a clue to what might be coming up, but we all know things change so there will always be some things that are unexpected. But we can watch for the signs. In the road of life there are signs that point you in the direction you need to go. If you look at your past you can see where you came from and then compare it to your future, if the road looks bumpy, change your course. Watch for the signs to get you to the right exit.

We all want success in our lives; we are all on a road to success. Some are still sitting on the ramp with a car in park wondering why it’s so hard to steer. Some keep putting the car in reverse trying to fix the past, and some are too anxious about where the future will take them. Set goals for your future; watch for the signs; take the middle lane and enjoy the ride. Every now and then, take a side journey and see what life has to offer. You will be surprised at the gems you find on the side of your road of life.

I’m Tim Gillette, the Rocker Life Coach. It’s time to live your dream, to love what you do and those you share life with. Enjoy the journey to the destination. That is what being the RockStar in your world is all about.

To Infinity and Beyond

Wow. It’s Friday and we’ve made it through our first week back after vacation. On Monday you went into work all worried that life was going to hit you like a sack of potatoes, but you made it. I hope some of the tips this week have pushed you to a point of realization that you can go further than you ever thought you could. I was originally going to call this week’s theme “Go Past Your Comfort Zone” but decided to push a different direction.

When Gwynne and I take vacation time each year we always try to go someplace or do something that we have not done before. It’s like an adventure each time. We met late in life so there are so many things we want to do together now. For us, when we do go out, (usually it’s a motorcycle trip),we learn that we can go further, do more, and when we get home it’s time to apply to our lives the lessons we just learned about ourselves. Well this week we got focused, cleaned up some things we really don’t need, built a new routine and learned we need to always make room for improvement. With all of that, you realize in life, if you stretch yourself, little by little you can reach those dreams in life your have always wanted.

In life I have always built my own comfort zones, then, when my world shrinks I grow my comfort zone again. Well after the things we talked about this week, why not make your life a place of continued growth? Most of the coaching I do is with people starting over, so taking these steps we used this week it’s easy to rebuild a new life. And why set limits for yourself? Why not set your limits to infinity? After all if you are still alive on this earth you have a purpose to fulfill, you can grow more. Do you know what your purpose is?

Yesterday we talked about always growing, always make room for improvement. That is where the growth prospects come in. But many of you still have fear of the prospect of infinity. Maybe you’ve set a goal to quit smoking for five years straight but you still can’t do it. So how do you take yourself to infinity? One step at a time.

The great thing about working with and watching people move from the life they have to the life they want is watching as they grow each step of the way. As coaches we see the process with a birds-eye view. We know that it’s one step at a time that takes someone to success and no elevator ride. So just like we took things step-by-step this week, to get through the many things that were needed to get us back on track after that time off, you will also do this in the process of life, you need to make it step-by-step till you reach what you want.

Right now we are excited about the Rangers here in Dallas, so close to going to the World Series for the second year in a row. But they did not get there by one quick jump to this point. They played one game at a time to get them this far. The same way you must take one step at a time to reach your goals. If you work to win this one game, then after you win you shoot to win two games in a row. Step by step you get to a winning season. But you know there will be times when you lose a few games in a row, you get back up and start over winning the first game again.

So what are you going to do to take your life to infinity? What is the purpose you have in this world and what are you doing to make it happen? Life is about purpose and if you are not living your purpose you are not truly living.

Let’s do a quick recap of our week to make sure you got these points down and are ready to take life to the next level.

1.  Get focused. Take time each day to meditate and get that clear thought process to make you the best at what you do. Clear out the distractions that keep you from being focused on the task at hand.

2.  Clean house. Take time to actually keep your life clean. This is a part of life that bogs so many successful people down; they are working on so many things at the same time. I know many who read this post love music so imagine your life like your music collection. If you are still holding onto the 8-track tapes, the cassettes, the albums and the CD version of your favorite bands, you’re wasting space. Update your life and put them all on a computer hard drive, MP3 or iTunes and only keep one backup (I suggest CD, or external hard drive…just saying).

3.  Start a new routine. Yes, it’s hard to tell the creative people this; they want to be free and not have anything that keeps them in a structure. Well if you want to succeed in life you will have to build a process, or routine to be able to duplicate those things that work, learn what is not working and get rid of it.

4.  Always be growing. Learn what you can do and then build it into a routine. As you find yourself getting better, increase your productivity to make your life better. Those who grow in life are always making the improvements to build a better life for themselves, their family and their business.

5.  To infinity and beyond. You learned all this during the week, or maybe just got a refresher course to be more productive. Set your goals higher and take it one step at a time till you reach past what you ever thought you could do.

Take this weekend and use the fact that we all need a break. Even God rested on the seventh day.

I’m Tim Gillette, the Rocker Life Coach. It’s time for you to live the life you always dreamed, by loving what you do and those you share life with. Shoot for infinity and beyond and soon you will be the RockStar in your world.

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