So many times when meeting with people I hear them use the words “I’m a failure,” “I’m no good at anything,”” I’m too fat,” “I’m too skinny,” “I’m too ugly.” This list could go on and on, but let’s just leave it with those for the time being.
Do you realize how much damage you are doing to yourself when you speak these words? I’ve read this many times over the years in many different books, but it goes back to the wise words of Solomon in the bible. In a nutshell, he wrote that you will live by the words you speak.
I know many people do not believe this. They think that those “positive-attitude” people like Tim are just telling us that. They say that it has no effect on people. Well, I will always beg to differ on this one. The words you speak, the things you say about yourself, are just like programming a computer. You hear it over and over and soon you believe it.
If you are one of those people who do not believe in this, that words you keep repeating do not stick in your memory, I’ll ask if you can sing the song that plays at the Disney ride “A Small World.” Right now every one of you started singing that song.
Words are an investment, not just into your mind but into your soul. Remember the quote from Henry Ford: “If you believe you can or you believe you can’t, either way you are right.” Over time you will believe those words you are saying. I hate when I see people who have fallen to a state that they cannot help themselves to get back up. They have let the words they said totally eat them away.
Years ago I knew a speaker who made a bold statement. He said he could change a relationship between a couple by changing their words. I personally know that I love Gwynne more because I tell her I do. It builds my belief each time I say it. I feel she loves me more each time I hear it. Those words, “I love you,” are the strongest words to build a belief in a relationship.
Now let’s set an exercise for the rest of this week. Take out a small note card or 3×5 index card and write “Positive Things” on one side and “Negative Things” on the other side. Each time you catch yourself saying a negative thing like “I’m stupid” or “I’m a loser,” put a mark on the negative side of the card. Each time you say “I’m great” or something else like that, put a mark on the positive side.
See how many you say of each, then at the end of the week add each side of the card up. Take the number on the positive side and multiply by 10. Do the same on the negative side but this time multiply it by 20 then take that number and subtract it from the number you calculated on the positive side.
This is kind of a strange way to do it, but think of it in terms of money and you will get a better idea. We seem to relate to money analogies more easily. Tell me what your bank would say about your account balance after this exercise? Take this exercise and think about it seriously. You will see how much you tear yourself down with the negative comments you make about yourself.